5 Ways to Help Your Child if They’re Bullying at School

It’s natural to feel a range of emotions if you find out your child has been involved in bullying. You may feel disappointed, confused, or even embarrassed. But remember, this is a chance for positive growth—for both you and your child. Recognising the issue is the first step to helping your child change for the better. Here are five effective ways to support and guide your child if they’re engaging in bullying behaviour at school.

1. Understand the Reasons Behind the Behaviour

Bullying doesn’t occur in a vacuum; children often engage in this behaviour due to underlying issues. Bullying might stem from feelings of insecurity, frustration, peer pressure, or struggles with emotions they don’t know how to express. Start by having a calm conversation with your child, avoiding judgement, and focusing on understanding their feelings. Ask open-ended questions, like “How do you feel when you’re at school?” or “Are there things happening that make you feel angry or upset?” By discovering the root causes, you can better address the issue together.

2. Teach Empathy and Perspective-Taking

Developing empathy is key to helping your child understand the impact of their actions. Help them consider how their behaviour might make others feel. Try role-playing activities or ask them to imagine themselves in the shoes of the other child. Encourage them to think about times when they’ve felt hurt and how they’d feel if someone treated them in a similar way. Books, movies, and storytelling can also be effective tools to illustrate the importance of kindness and respect towards others.

3. Set Clear Boundaries and Consequences

It’s important to be firm about the behaviours you expect and what is unacceptable. Talk to your child about what consequences will follow if they continue to engage in bullying. Consequences should be reasonable, related to the behaviour, and enforceable at home. For example, if they misuse their phone to send hurtful messages, a logical consequence might be limited phone usage. Consistency is essential; children are more likely to change if they understand that their actions have reliable outcomes.

4. Encourage Positive Relationships and Activities

Children often bully because they’re looking for attention, control, or a sense of belonging. Help your child build positive connections by encouraging involvement in activities they enjoy and where they can make friends in a healthy way. Enrolling them in sports, clubs, or art classes can help them find a constructive outlet for their energy and emotions. Positive friendships often reduce bullying behaviours by giving children healthier social support and teaching them cooperative skills.

5. Model Respectful Communication at Home

Children learn a lot by observing adults. If they witness respectful, kind communication at home, they’re more likely to adopt these behaviours themselves. Show your child how to handle conflicts calmly, communicate respectfully, and apologise when necessary. Discuss times when you may have been upset with someone but resolved the issue in a positive way. Letting your child see you model these behaviours can make a big difference in shaping how they interact with others.

Final Thoughts

Helping your child change bullying behaviours is a journey, and it may take time. With consistent support, clear boundaries, and open communication, they can learn to make better choices and develop stronger, healthier relationships. Remember, this process not only helps your child grow but also contributes to creating a more positive and safe school environment for everyone.

Take these steps one at a time, and celebrate small victories along the way. By addressing these behaviours early on, you’re helping your child develop a foundation for empathy, respect, and kindness—skills that will benefit them for a lifetime.